(*and as a little update, I've been seeing a lot of the boy from Oz, and the more I see him the more I like him. Yet we're still in the talking and walking together for hours and hugging phase- nothing more. Matters get even more complicated as he may have to move back to Oz if he can't find a job soon)
Anyways, I'm trying to figure out exactly what feeling sexy means. I think it has something to do with feeling desired. And right now, I can't see how I could feel desired shaped as I am.
I think that might have a little bit to do with the fact that I went clothes shopping this weekend. Seriously- clothes shopping sucks. Here's why:
- Continually having to undress in front of a mirror, constantly witnessing your flab.
- Seeing clothes that look great on a hanger, only to see you ruin it by attempting to put it on.
- Constantly finding stores that don't think people of my size should get to wear cute stylish things.
- Generally feeling like an ugly person surrounded by lots of cute people.
But back to sexy. While I'd love to think that sexy is just a state of mind that can be achieved, I have to wonder about what role a partner has in myself feeling sexy. After all, sex with myself is great, but gets a bit boring. I think there is something about being desired that inherently fills the object with sexiness.
Hmmmm...that's a problem.
2 comments:
When I was younger and much skinner then I am now, I often felt pretty sexy - based entirely on my physical appearance. Once I started gaining weight, I pretty much lost that feeling. Overnight. I felt ugly, worthless, totally undesirable.
That changed for me once I figured out what I wanted to be when I grew up. Once I started to make that future happen, and to excel at it, I started to feel like a desirable person again. Being a more whole person was the key, for me.
Thanks for that!
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