Well, today I had to get some additional measurments from the fabulous costume designer in our show.
I think as one sliding down the slope of fat, you don't really see where you're ending up until you get there. Then you look at the number that pops up, whether it's a scale or a measurement and you think "WHOAH! How the HELL did it get this bad??"
Maybe jolts like that help inspire people to do better and actually start losing weight, but I find that jolts like that can be very dis-empowering. They are reminders of exactly how much things have spiraled out of control. I think jolts like this happen all over our lives...in bank accounts, in credit card bills, in schedules, in jobs, who knows where else?
What makes jolts like these so disempowering is the thought: I could have prevented this. The very fact that I could have but didn't feels like failure. When I feel failure, there's a part of me that wants to retreat, give up, go home.
So what does this mean? The thing that is disempowering me is me.
There's got to be a way to take the concept of failure out of this process. Hell, there's got to be a way to take the concept of failure out of how we see our own and each others' appearances.
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Delving into the world of body image, beauty, weight loss, dieting, and one woman's quest to get right with her body.
3 comments:
Wow....I've so had those moments. I remember picking up the remote and watching some reality show called the "Biggest Looser" awhile back and there was a woman on there who weighed the same as me and I remember thinking, "am I really that big". Two thoughts ran through me...1. I felt bag for judging her and 2. I don't feel that big.
It's such a hard game and the medical establishment doesn't help at all. According to standardized size and weight charts I'm supposed to weight 130...yeah right.
I applaud you girl, women need to talk about these things more and it's not easy.
~The Belle gone astray
I know exactly what you mean. And it's a about time the medical establishment revised those BMI charts and weight height charts.
Thanks for reading! I look forward to more input!
I gained a bunch of weight over the last six months and I'm in that place - how did this HAPPEN!?! The feeling truly is one of surprise. The numbers are higher than I thought they were. But for the first time ever, I think I am not berating myself for it. I like myself enough finally - for the first time in my life - to understand that my weight has nothing to do with my value as a person. So I can look at myself with some perspective. So while I'd like to lose weight (again), I don't beat myself up about it at all. The old negative energy I had I'm recycling into an ability to like myself as I am. The world (and my life) are not going to end because I put on some pounds. What a relief!
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