DATING!!!!

Dating is always interesting. I've been making a point of just going out on dates whenever the opportunity presents itself in this city. I don't really know a lot of people, so of course I turn to online dating.

Now there's always this nagging voice in the back of my head that questions whether or not I even have the right to date if I am not thin and beautiful.

(I should note here that for some reason, I have been equating the two. Obviously this isn't always the case, yet this still seems to be the default setting on my brain. All one has to do is look at the converse reasoning- if thin=beautiful, therefore fat=ugly)

Anyways, I have been going on dates, and met some really nice guys, but none who thrill me. I haven't gotten that flitter-flutter feeling you get when you meet someone you really like.

Well, at least not until I met the boy from Oz.

GAH! I actually really really like him. Everytime I think of this guy, I get a stupid grin on my face. We've gone on three dates, and have only gotten to the point of hugging. I would love to make a move, yet I feel that because I am not thin, I don't have the right to do so.

Basically, I have to assess first if he's alright with my size and that sucks. Now I remember why I haven't been bothering too much with dating these last five or six years.

Anyways, the whole question is tabled until he gets back from his extended holiday.

That gives me some time to figure out how much of an obstacle my body image has really set up between me and finding love.....