Perceiving change

In the last couple of months, I've had issues with my clothes getting too big and not fitting. Even though I've had this hard evidence of change, I haven't really perceived any changes in my body when I see myself in the mirror.

But recently I've started to see some change....just those moments of looking in the mirror and thinking "Yeah!"

Those moments are great motivators. But in a much bigger way than the carrot and stick motivator. (the carrot being a thin beautiful me)

This kind of motivation is based far more inside than outside. It's seeing your true self and wanting to nourish and water it so that it takes over all the other parts that aren't yourself, but still cling to you like barnacles on a dock. It doesn't feel so much like changing myself as uncovering myself.

And with that feeling, decisions get made for different reasons. In fact, they don't even feel like decisions at all. Being healthier just feels like the natural way to go rather than a sacrifice.

I imagine that it won't always feel like this (especially those bloated days before my period!), but it does feel like a fundamental shift is happening very slowly, but surely.